Introducing the Douchiest Umpire in the Majors By: Peter Snyder

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Meet Ron Kulpa, the biggest douche bag in Major League Baseball. During last night’s contest between the Houston Astros and the Texas Rangers, Astros manager A.J. Hinch was ejected in the top of the second inning by home plate umpire, Ron Kulpa. This ejection was sparked by an ongoing frustration by Hinch, who felt Kulpa had been consistently missing calls throughout the early stages of the ball game. After Kulpa continued to stare down the Astros dugout, responding to the occasional chirp, Hinch decided he had seen enough and made his way towards Kulpa’s direction. As he continued to walk towards Kulpa, Hinch began to repeat the phrase “You can’t do that,” signifying that Kulpa had no right to continuously stare down his players from the dugout. In true douce bag fashion, Kulpa decided to preach to Hinch in an aggressive fashion, that he can do whatever he wants. To assert his power even more, this act was followed by an ejection of both Hinch and Astros hitting coach, Alex Cintron.

Okay, first off, who the hell do you think you are Ron Kulpa! I understand you think you are some big shot because you are an umpire in the show but that gives you no right to abuse your power and act like a total dick. If you are continuing to blatantly miss calls, which you were, you are going to get chirped. It’s part of the game. Deal with it and if you can’t, start making the right calls. Then, when you get called out on your shit, do not act like Tommy the tough guy and say you can do whatever you want. We all know up until 1998, you were living in your mothers basement playing GTA for fun. As Bryce Harper once famously said, “That’s a clown question (in this case move,) BRO!)

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