What’s up, guys. New series dropping tonight. Essentially, what I am going to be doing over the next month or so is writing a daily column that states late-night thoughts that pop up into my head. This isn’t going to be the best-written piece of literature you’ve ever seen and heck, I’m not even going to have my editor look at these (Yea, I have an editor. Deal with it.) I just want to express what I am feeling on a nightly basis before my head hits the sack.

Episode 1 – The Elbow Touch

I’m just gonna say it. I hate this whole elbow touching movement. I find it to be extremely corny and I can’t help but cringe whenever I come across a duo rubbing bows.

I was at a (social distancing) BBQ today and I was participating in one of the most badass, dangerous backyard games of all time. Cornhole. Anyway, my partner and I are getting our absolute asses handed to us and decide we need to turn on the jets. We make a fierce comeback and before you can blink, the score is squared up at 18 apiece.

It is my friends turn to shoot and our opponents are out of ammo. My friend cocks back, releases the bag and prays. The bean bag lays up on the board and slides into the hole. BANG! I run over to my teammate to do what any barrel-chested American would do in that situation; greet him with a flying chest bump. However, as I make my way twoards him, he promptly dodges me, mid-leap and reminds me that we must practice social distancing.

We then elbow rubbed in celebration and I must say, I haven’t felt more like a loser in my entire life.