Episode 9 – The Top 5 Places to take a leak
5. The Woods
Hear me out fellas (or ladies.) You are taking a hike with your friends when all of sudden your blatter feels like it is going to explode. With no bathroom in sight, you make a B line to the nearest tree and release. Although this move could result in you getting poison ivy right where the sun don’t shine, it ultimatley worth it as a tree piss feels just a tad better than the rest.
4. The Community Pool
We have all heard the rumors before. “If you take a pee in a community pool, the water surrounding you will turn dark blue. To some, this sounds terrifying. To others, however, it sounds like a challenge. Believe it or not, we all have a little bit of daredevil in us. Even if it is used metaphorically, we all at one point in our lives have wanted to know if the water actually turns dark blue.
3. The Side of a Road
You and your family have decided to take a cross country vacation from New Jersey, to California. You and your sibling are jammed in the back seat with the luggage, your mom is playing madam photographer and your dad is blasting his favorite show tunes in the driver’s seat. While you are about 10 hours into your trip, you can start to feel a tinkle creep up into your system. You ask your parents to pull up to the nearest truck stop. They tell you to hold it in. This attempt soon falls on deaf ears as your blatter is now seconds away from a volcanic explosion. You begin to beg your loved ones for forgiveness, which leads them to pull the car over on the side of the road and release a pee which seems like it has been brewing for years in the making. This is called the American dream pee.
2. The Urinal
I love urinals. Why? I couldn’t tell ya. For whatever reason, when I pee in a Urinal I instantly feel 110% more manly. It is as if I am marking my manhood on a curved shaped bowl. You pee on a regular toilet? That’s cool. I just got done taking a was on (in?) a urinal. Suck it.
1. The Ocean
Peeing in an ocean is one of the 7 great wonders of this world. I can’t even explain it to you guys, but I know for a fact that if you have ever peed in an ocean before, you can relate to how awesome of an experience it is. It is like being on top of the world. Some may be able to say that they’ve conquered Mount Everest, but I can say that I’ve successfully peed in an ocean well over 100 times. Which accomplishment reigns supreme? I think the answer speaks for itself.